I am a black hole
A weird title to start blogging with .. ehh? The choice may at first seem so .. but upon
deeper introspection tells me the title is apt if it talks about me, myself, my
experiences with life!!
Well, just as title says it all .. I have been like a black
hole .. want everything that I like to myself and gorge it all !
Ravenous ...
glutton and if you have more adjectives, just add them on ... that’s what I am !
Foodie!! No !
You got me wrong ... its relations ... love
... security ... bonding ... friendship!!
I often go out on long walks with very loud music on in my
ears so that I don’t talk to self .... that I don’t burst into tears which I
often do when I am alone and introspecting!
I am sick of trying to get attention of people – especially
when couldn’t talk with people with social circle- Reasons ???
Social taboos !
A sense of awkwardness at the thought of throwing yourself
open to them to show how weak you are how vulnerable you are !
And what I did .. talking to strangers – assuming they are
from other universe and our worlds will never cross – though secretly wished at
times, they did!!
In the process .. I feel at times I behaved like a doormat - compromising self respect – why ? what for
?
What did I ask in return – they be connected to me – they
would talk to me for hours – at length on anything for hours together – that I
could laugh at silly jokes with them!
The unfortunate and the dark part of story is all these
friends were Men !!!
My God !! I should be a social outcast, keeping in mind this
notion!
As the society perceives it – I am a black hole and
ravenously gorging all the healthy norms of society and hence the title!
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